


Trying to breathe

by merdarkandtwisty



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-22 00:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8266721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merdarkandtwisty/pseuds/merdarkandtwisty
Summary: Long before Jack was born Aaron and Haley had another son they were forced to give up for adoption. Now the truth comes out and the team is in for a ride they never expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N Set after the Riley Jankins case . No Will thus no Henry. Suspend what you know about the real ages of Haley and Aaron and pretend they are older.

“Why did you leave, why was it so easy for you to walk out?” Spencer demanded. “How could you, why would you?” He was furious as he looked on his father for the first time since he’d been a child. He ignored Rossi and Morgan who stood against the wall. Seeing father and son at a standoff. 

“I couldn’t handle it any longer, I couldn’t pretend.” William Reid spat.” 

“What you mean about mom? Well how did you expect a kid to handle it.” 

“No not just about your mom, about you too.” 

“What that I was a genius. Was I really that hard to handle.” Spencer spat. 

“It wasn’t that either. You see there is something you don’t know. Something you were never told never supposed to be told. Something your mother would kill me if she knew I was about to tell you but you deserve to know.” 

“What?” Fire burned behind Spencer’s eyes as he stared at his father, this man who had abandoned him when he needed him most. 

“You’re adopted.” 

With those two words Spencer’s world stopped spinning. He felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. He couldn’t breath. He wasn’t even sure how he was even still standing. 

“No that isn’t even possible. Mom has talked about being pregnant with me.” 

“Yeah an elaborate lie she wove to hide the truth from you.” William shrugged. “We wanted kids but your mother couldn’t get past the seventh week of pregnancy without miscarriage and so we adopted you. I thought it would be enough. It wasn’t though. I’m sorry for that but I just couldn’t connect to you. Your mother she loves you and I knew that through all her flaws Diana loves you.” 

“Oh I know she loves me.” Spencer scoffed his head spinning at what this meant for him. It meant he wasn’t in danger of the schizophrenia gene. Or maybe he was he knew nothing about his biological family and maybe, maybe that was scarier than anything else. 

“Who?” Spencer gritted out. “Who are my birth parents?” 

“I don’t know their names. I just know they were high school students your birth mother was the daughter of one of your mom’s friends. Your mom would know.” 

“No I’m not… I’m not going to ask her she’ll never know I found out the truth. She couldn’t handle that. I’ll find it out don’t worry about it.” Spencer turned to leave before turning back to the man behind him. The man he now knew didn’t father him. “Thank you for at least telling me the truth.” 

William Reid just nodded his head as he watched the men walk out the door. “Man you want to talk about this?” Derek asked his best friend.” He ignored the look Rossi was throwing him. 

“No not right now. Lets just get home I’m going to need Garcia’s help. Spencer sighed his head spinning. Who was he? The plane ride between the three of them was silent. They all tried to digest the information they’d just learned about the youngest member of their team. 

Once back at Quantico Reid went and found Penelope. “Hey.” Garcia twirled around and looked at Reid hovering in her doorway. 

“Hey junior G man what can I help you with?” she got slightly worried as she saw him seem to sag into her office. 

“My dad or whoever the hell he is… he told me… he told me..” 

“Reid what did you tell you you’re worrying me babe.” She noticed that he flinched when she called him by his surname. 

Spencer took a deep breath. “He told me I was adopted. Pen I need you to find out who my birth parents are. He said my mom would know but I can’t, no I won’t ask her. Help me Pen.” 

“Oh of course.” Penelope hugged him tightly before turning to her magical computers. She typed things in quickly before growing. This is harder than I thought I got through to your birth certificate and I can’t get to the original because why would it be that easy.” She growled again. Whoever sealed these was powerful. “ she pounded on her keys.  
“Ha got around you sucker.” She crowed. 

“What, what did you find?” Spencer demanded. 

“Your adoption papers and their it is signature’s from your birth mother and father. And oh my god.” She sucked in her breath and stared at the computer in horror. 

“What, Penelope tell me what it is.” 

“One second baby boy I think I better get Morgan, Rossi and JJ in here.” She quickly texted all of them what Spencer wasn’t sure but they were soon crowding around them. 

“What is going on?” JJ looked around utterly confused I was just telling Hotch that we had a case and I get a 911 from Garcia. Hotch probably thinks I’m crazy right now. 

“Shh Jayje.” Penelope hissed as Spencer turned to JJ. 

“I found out I’m adopted Garcia found out who my adopted parents are but she seems to think you all need to be here. Minus Emily and Hotch I see. “ 

“Oh well I forget her. opps.” Garcia shrugged “I figured you wouldn’t mind if these three knew wasn’t sure about Prentiss. 

“Garcia who the hell are my parents?” they all jumped at Spencer’s words. 

“Your parents are…” Penelope closed her eyes. 

“Dear god you’re not going to tell me they are serial kills are you.” Spencer started to panic. 

“No, your parents listed as Haley Brooks and…Aaron Hotchner.” 

The room sat in stunned silence. 

“Spence.” JJ’s hand rested on his shoulder. “Spence talk to us.” 

“Print that off.” Was all he could choke out.” Garcia just nodded hurrying to do as he asked. They all jumped as Hotch stood in the door way. 

“What is going on? I thought we had a case.” 

“We do.” JJ shielded Reid as Garcia shoved the papers into his hands. And he shoved them into his messenger bag. He couldn’t look at his boss. His father he just he couldn’t do it. “Garcia had to show us something but lets get this show on the road. “

As they all settled around the round table he notice most of his agents not able to meet his eyes. To look at him. Squirming in their seats and shooting looks over at Reid. “Okay someone tell me what is going on right now?” 

“Don’t look at me.” Prentiss held up her hands. I have no clue.” 

JJ quickly stood up and hurried to the front. “This is just a consultation.” Thankfully she thought to herself as she passed out the files and went over the facts.  
The air hung heavy in the room as they all went over their files. The tension could be cut with a knife. All the eyes shifting around.

“That’s enough what is going on?” Hotch snapped. All eyes turned to Reid so did Aaron’s. 

He looked up and opened his messenger bag. He clutched onto the papers Garcia had given him. He swallowed as he stood up. “Spence you don’t have to do this.” JJ whispered wanting to grab for his hand. 

“Yes I do Jayje.” He said looking at his boss, father. Whatever he was. His hand held onto those papers so tightly that he could feel them ripping. “When I was in Vegas my father.” He cringed. “He told me I was adopted. Garcia looked it up for me. Which is why we were all in her office. He heard Emily gasp and sent her an apologetic look.  
“Here.” Spencer thrust the papers at Hotch. Hurrying to leave the room before the older man could read them. 

Aaron Hotchner was beyond confused. What was going on . adopted yes he could see why that would cause Reid to act strange but the others. He looked down at the paperwork that had been thrust in his hands and his breath caught. His signature scrawled. Haley’s. a lump in his throat he closed his eyes as he went back to a day so many years ago. Of two teenagers not out of high school a baby on the way and family pressure to give him up for adoption. His hand shaking as he signed on the line. Holding Haley as she cried and his eyes popped open as he turned in horror to look where his youngest agent had left. His youngest Agent who was also his son. The son he thought he’d never get to know. 

He’d held that son, that secret under lock and key. Holding Jack in his arms for the first time had almost killed him. He knew Haley hadn’t wanted to hold Jack thinking of their first little boy. Had prayed every night for a girl. It had taken weeks for Haley to bond with Jack. How was he going to tell her. she knew Spencer how was he going to tell her that her baby had been under their noses this whole time and they hadn’t known. They were divorced he was barely holding it together knowing he couldn’t be apart of one son’s life the way he wanted and his other son was right here. He looked at his team. “Everyone go home.” His voice shaky as he gave the order. He wasn’t sure what happened next as he slumped into a chair. His world stilled as he felt like all the air was sucked out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Aaron somehow made his way back to his house. The house he used to share with Haley, and then Haley and Jack before she’d packed up everything and moved out. Before he was served divorce papers. Before his life fell apart. He didn’t even bother turning the light on. he just sat heavily on the couch in the dark. The ghost of memory’s past swirling around him. 

Haley screaming with excitement when she showed him the pregnancy test that was proof Jack was on the way. Then only moments later falling down and crying on the floor.   
Aaron gathering her into his arms and carrying her into their room tucking her in and whispering soft words to her in the dark. 

His mind went back farther. To things he’d locked away in the way back recesses of his brain. A tiny baby all swathed in blue. So tiny so sweet. He had his chin. He his eyes close to his but not quite his hair a mixture between his and Haley’s and he wanted nothing more than to keep him. To hold onto him for the rest of his life and never let go.   
He knew he couldn’t. Neither he nor Haley were done with school. They both had goals to reach before they were stable enough to raise a child. They both knew that. It didn’t help that neither of them had support from their parents. No both sets of parents had told them either give the baby up or find somewhere else to live. 

Aaron wasn’t going to let his child suffer, he wasn’t. Aaron also knew that being in the dysfunction that was the Hotchner family even with his mother’s help and that of the Brooks had its own drawbacks so with all the pressure to choose adoption and knowing he wanted better for his son then he could at that time provide he’d agreed to sign the papers and hand the tiny bundle over. 

He remembered holding Jack for the first time looking down at the little boy that to the rest of the world was his first born but who he knew was really his second son. He tried to see if he could see any of that first baby in Jack. His hair was lighter more toward Haley. His eyes darker where the first baby was a good mix Jack favored Haley more. Then Aaron felt sick to compare his two children. He knew it wasn’t right it wasn’t fair. 

He poured some scotch and he held it in his hand in the dark. Memories fighting each other as he thought of how he would ever tell Haley. How would Jack react? True he only just turned three so in the long run jack more than likely would never remember a time without Spencer. That is if Spencer even agreed to allow himself or Haley into his life. Of course Aaron would be in his life in a professional manner but would he allow a personal connection. Then a horrible thought crossed his mind and it felt like he’d swallowed an ice cube hole. What if Spencer quit what if he transferred? What if Aaron lost him completely.” He threw the scotch back and closed his eyes. The ghost taunting him with every decision he’d ever made that led him to this moment. He dreaded work tomorrow. 

Spencer made it back to his apartment somehow. He wasn’t sure how. He knew he’d taken the subway. He knew that route by heart though so he hadn’t had to put much thought into it. He’d stumbled his way home. Unlocked his door. Kicked off his shoes and fell fully clothed into his bed. He stared up at his ceiling. His boss. His somewhat friend. He was his father. He felt queasy. 

The whole office knew. The whole office and he was upset about that too. He knew Garcia wanted him to have support but at the same time he was mad at her. He felt raw exposed. How was he supposed to walk back into that building tomorrow with all his coworkers knowing something so personal to him. Something he himself hadn’t even had a chance to digest yet. It was like there would be a giant blinking sign on him saying look at me. Look at me. The man who life just got blown apart. 

Certain things made sense now though. Whispered fights between his parents. Hearing words he didn’t understand at the time but made sense now. Threats to tell him. His mother crying begging his father not to. His mother holding him tightly and telling him that no matter what he’d always be hers that no one could take him away from her.   
It made so much sense now and he felt heartbroken for the woman who had raised him loved him. Even if she hadn’t been a perfect mother even if she really shouldn’t have been a mother. She’d given him the best she could. He could resent her. Resent his father. Resent Aaron and Haley for putting him in that situation, but he just couldn’t bring himself to hate any of them. No if anything he felt sorry for them all. Yes even William Reid who had a perfect family built in his mind and had it crumble all around him. The family not as perfect as he’d hope not able to live up to the picture he’d painted in his mind. 

Spencer thought of the two young people who had given him up for adoption. What had they went through? What were they still going through to this day? Did they think about him? had they always thought about him. about who he’d be today? He had so many questions and he knew he could ask Hotch, Aaron. He wasn’t sure how to address the elder man anymore. This man who share half his genetics. 

Thinking of Genetics he wondered if it was horrible of him that one of the first thoughts he’d had after finding out the truth was that he could have kids without the worry of passing Schizophrenia onto them. That he himself could stop worrying that he’d have a break. He had always figured he’d gotten his IQ from his mother being a college professor and all but now he wasn’t sure. Yes he knew Hotch was smart how couldn’t he be look at where he’d gotten himself at such a young age but then Spencer thought of the unknown person in this equation. Haley Brooks Hotchner. His mother. Of course he’d met her. Had a few talks with her. He didn’t know much about her though. The other person who shared half his DNA. He felt his eyes grow heavy as all his questions and observations ran through his head.


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer woke up to phone call from JJ only hours after he’d fallen into a restless sleep. He groaned picking up the phone. “Hello.” 

“We have a case.” She said without preamble. “Meet at the jet you’ll be briefed there.” 

“okay.” Spencer tried not to scowl as he shut off his phone and grabbed his go bag making sure he had everything he’d need before changing himself and heading to his car to make it to the jet. He thought he’d have more time. More time before he had to face Hotch with the new information that had blown his world apart. Looked like fate and serial killers had other plans. 

He walked up to the jet. His face as professional as he could make it. Meeting Derek at the steps they both walked onto the plane. Finding Rossi, JJ and Prentiss there. Wondering where Hotch was Reid settled down in a seat beside JJ who he refused to look at because he knew if he did he’d see sympathy residing in those blue eyes of hers and he knew he couldn’t handle that right now. Just then Hotch came onto the plane. 

“Okay what do we have?” he settled across from Spencer not able or daring enough to look directly at the younger man. 

“Five dead women. All brunette all between the ages of 25 and thirty. All found dead with in twelve hours of abduction. All found in trash dumps naked and duck tape over their mouths. 

“And where is this?” Rossi asked 

“Mini Louisiana.” 

“All the same dumps or different ones?” Prentiss quarried 

“Different and no DNA. They were all raped but the unsub used a condom.” 

“How long between kills?” Spencer asked wondering why a file hadn’t been handed to them yet. 

“Three days.” 

“Aw here we go. The files.” JJ stood up and took the files from the junior FBI agent who had been rushed from Quantico to bring them the case files. 

“Thank you.” 

The young man nodded and headed off the jet as JJ passed out the files and everyone settled back to read. Buckling in as the jet took off. 

“It’s possible this is a substitute for someone. He has a clear victim down look and age wise. Though marital status nor social economic status seem to matter.” Hotch said looking through the file in his hands. 

“No first victim Louisa Kline was 25 single waitress. Second victim Addie Summers was 28 engaged Assistant . Third victim was Jessica Lewis 30 Married Veterinarian Fourth victim Hadley Newell 25 single bartender fifth victim Josie Grace 29 engaged medical intern.” Morgan read off. 

“The next victim will be thirty if not older she’ll be married and she’ll have a highly professional job.” Spencer said looking up from the file he himself held. 

“Why do you think that” JJ questioned. 

“Look at the pattern. Young single a job you’d typically have at that age. Next one engaged a slightly higher paid older next oldest married highly professional job. And then it starts over again.” he points out

“So there is something about this pattern that sets him off but what? And how is he meeting these women?” Rossi mused. 

“What’s with the tape over their mouths.” JJ shook her head. 

“Probably to silence them even in death.” Hotch provided. “Okay when we land I want JJ to come to the precinct with me. Prentiss and Spencer go to the last dump site. Dave go to the ME see what she has to say about our victims. All of them nodding no one commenting on the fact that Hotch had said Spencer instead of Reid like he normally would. They all took their files and spread out over the jet. 

JJ’s eyes followed Spencer as he settled onto the couch. She looked over at Hotch who was buried deep in his own file but he wasn’t fooling her. she noticed how his eyes would flicker to Spencer from time to time. She wanted to get up and talk to him she knew se couldn’t though knew he wouldn’t appreciate being made the center of attention again. She knew that is just what would happen if she went to him too. 

They landed and all went to their assigned places. All in professional mode. All pushing or at least trying to push the personal upheaval to the back of their minds. It took them four days and one more dead woman. Victim six Nadine Ellis. Like Spencer predicted she was 31 a college professor and married. their unsub happened to be a deranged man who had loved one woman from the age of ten a women who broke his heart and married his best friend. The stresser had been when she had died in a car accident earlier in the year.  
On the jet on the way back home the air one again stifled with all the unsaid words not just with Aaron and Spencer but also with the team. 

Spencer didn’t think they noticed but all of them saw that tiny flinch when Aaron answered a call from Haley and talked to Jack as they were high in the air. JJ gripped the arm rest of her chair so hard she was sure there would be permanent indentations there. Trying her hardest not to rush to him. 

“bye Buddy I love you. Get some sleep.” Aaron ended the call as Spencer flinched. Aaron noticed all eyes were pointed at Spencer who was pretending he was buried in his post case paper work but was so tense and the pen wasn’t moving. Aaron went to stand up. He wanted to go to his son. Say something. He almost did almost stood almost moved towards him but JJ’s subtle headshake stopped him. 

 

“No.” she mouthed. She leaned over close to Hotch. 

“He’s not going to want to talk about this on this Jet.” She hissed. “His personal life has already been over shared with the team. Give him as much privacy and space as you can. Let him come to you.” 

It was an internal struggle for Aaron he wanted so badly to go to Spencer but if anyone knew Spencer it was JJ. So he bent to the woman’s knowledge and stayed in his seat. He closed his eyes for the rest of the flight home. He still had to figure out how to tell Haley. 

Spencer knew everyone was looking at him. watching him trying to see what he would do. If he would break. He noticed JJ trying hard not to come to him. Hotch fighting to not say something. He noticed JJ saying something to Hotch and Hotch sitting back against his chair. Spencer sent up a silent thank you to his best friend. He didn’t begrudge Jack Aaron’s attention and love he just was reminded of all he ‘d missed out on by being the first son and not the younger one who was kept. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Tried to shut out the reality of his life.


	4. Chapter 4

Home, and not having to be back at work for twenty four hours. Spencer wanted to close that door and shut out everything and everyone. He didn’t want to think about Diana, William, Aaron, Haley or Jack. He wanted to get lost in a book get lost in sleep just get lost. 

He doesn’t get that reprieve though because ten minutes after he closes the door behind him a knock sounds against the wood, he knows that knock he knows all their knocks and he steals himself as he opens the door to see his blond best friend standing on he other side. 

“JJ how may I help you.” He hurriedly stepped back as she came into the apartment. He looked behind her not sure if anyone else was with her. He wouldn’t put it past the team.

“I couldn’t talk to you on the jet, I understand that and I respected that but I can see the pain in your eyes Spence. The confusion the betrayal, resentment. 

Spencer just watched her. “You sure you’re not a profiler Jayje?” 

“I’m not but I’m around you lot enough that you’re not hard to read.” She looked at him bringing her hand up and stroking his cheek. “Talk to me Spence.” He sighed sagging against the closed door looking at the woman in front of him. 

“I honestly don’t know what to say.” He closed his eyes. 

“ Spencer just talk any words it’s okay.” She took his hand and lead him over to the couch sitting him down and sitting down beside him. Taking his hand in hers and pulling her legs up under herself. 

“I…” he faltered. “I don’t hate them, I don’t even resent them not really. It’s more the situation. My dad,” he shook his head. “William, he told me that Haley’s mother knew my mom was friends with her. If that’s true why would she Aaron, Haley allow her and William to adopt me. Knowing how she was. Knowing what my life would be like.” 

“Maybe she wasn’t as bad back then.” JJ reasoned. “Only Haley and Aaron can answer that question for you though. “Maybe Haley’s mother.” 

“NO.” Spencer practically shouted. 

“Okay, okay.” JJ soothed. You don’t have to talk to any of them if you don’t want to. “How are you going to work with Hotch day in and out though?” 

Spencer curled into himself. “I don’t… I don’t know. I have to talk to him. I know I do I can’t let this tear apart our team. I can’t let it ruin us. Hotch was family before I realized that he actually was biologically linked to me. We all love Jack and as for Haley I’ve never had an issue with her. Not really.” 

JJ nodded understanding what Spencer meant about Haley. The whole team had their own opinions on the way Haley handled walking out on Hotch and how she handled visitation with Jack. “Oh Spence.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “We’re here for you always know that.” 

“I know Jayje I know.” He whispered as she gave him a small smile and stood up. 

“I’m going to head home let you think about the things that have changed in your life.” 

Spencer gave a bitter laugh. “Well I’ll be thinking a long time if I think of all that.” He stood up and hugged JJ. “Thanks for coming.” He whispered holding her tightly and not wanting to let go like she was his lifeline to sanity. As soon as she was gone he locked his door shut off all the lights and just sat in the darkness not allowing himself to even think. Tomorrow would be soon enough for that. 

After leaving the plane, Aaron went to Haley’s new place. He’d gotten her to give him Jack for the next twenty four hours. He was happy and excited to see his son but he was also dreading seeing Haley because he knew he couldn’t hide this from her. He had to tell her the truth. Tell her Spencer was their son. The pit in his stomach tightened. He thought of Spencer on that plane. He’d seen the way he’d flinched when he’d been talking to Jack. 

He tried not to cry for the boy he should have raised. He knew of Spencer’s childhood. The teasing, taunting bullying. Being the adult when the adults in his life weren’t there for him. couldn’t be counted on and He felt horrible. He could handle it if Spencer resented him, Hated him. even if he hated or resented Haley. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Spencer hated Jack. Not that he thought Spencer would ever hate the younger boy. No he was sure he didn’t but he could understand Jealousy and he wasn’t sure how he’d handle that.   
He pulled up to Haley’s and he got out. He made his way slowly up the walk and knocked on the door bracing himself. Forcing himself to stand there and not run the way he wanted to.   
“Aaron Jack will be ready in a moment come in.” 

Aaron nodded and walked into the house Haley had rented after she’d left. He’d offered her their house but she said she wanted a fresh start. “Hales before Jack comes down there is something we need to talk about.” 

“Aaron not now.” Haley sighed. 

“Haley this is important.” 

“I’m sure it is but I’m exhausted Aaron.” 

“I understand Haley but this is about our son.” 

“Our son is upstairs changing he’s fine Aaron.” 

“No Haley.” Aaron shook his head. “our other son.” She stilled completely motionless Aaron thought he might have to catch her. they had an unspoken rule never to talk about him. 

“Why are you bringing this up Aaron?” her voice shook. 

“Can we go into the living room?” 

She just numbly nodded as he settled on the couch. “Jack will be down any minuet what is going on Aaron?” 

“Haley I know who he is.” 

“What do you mean you know who he is. did you go looking for him. We promised each other we wouldn’t do that.” 

“No I didn’t go looking for him. He found out he was adopted and told me.” 

“Why you? Why wouldn’t he come to me I’m his mother.” 

“Haley, he works for me. He found out after we were on a case and he found out at work after looking up his original records.” 

“But… the only person young enough for that would be that genius boy Spencer. Are you… are you saying he’s our son.” 

“Yes Haley he is. His adoptive father told him a few days ago. He had Garcia look up his records she couldn’t get to the original birth certificate but she got to the adoption papers we signed.” 

“Oh my god.” Haley’s hand flew to her mouth. “Is he.. is he’ okay?” 

“He’s in shock I’m sure I haven’t talked to him but Haley I had to tell you now probably wasn’t the best time because well Jack will be down those stairs soon but you had to know.”

“Okay um…” Haley was shaking so Aaron gathered her into his arms. “I’m going to see if Jess can watch Jack tomorrow after you drop him off me and you can go to dinner we can.. we can talk about this about Spencer.” She felt odd actually having a name to utter when thinking or speaking about her eldest son.

“Okay Hales.” He whispered into her hair. 

Just then Jack came barreling down the stairs. “Daddy.” He screamed. 

“Jack.” Aaron stood up and scooped his son into his arms as Haley quickly wiped her eyes not wanting her son to see her tears. 

“Have fun with daddy Jack.” She leaned over and kissed her son on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Aaron nodded walking out the door and heading to his car buckling Jack into his car seat and heading home. A slight weight off his chest. 

Haley watched them go. As soon as the car was out of the driveway she picked up her phone and called her sister. “Jess.” She said. Insistently Jessica Brooks knew something was wrong with her sister. 

“Haley is everything okay.” 

“Jess, Aaron found him. found our son or actually he’s always known him and our son found out the truth.” 

“Haley you’re not making any sense. “ 

“Do you remember the youngest member of Aaron’s team, Spencer Reid.” 

“Yeah Genius boy.” 

“He’s our son.” 

“He’s your… are you sure.” 

“Yes they have the paper work me and Aaron signed.” 

“Oh my what do you need Haley.” 

“Aaron just picked up Jack but me and him are going to go to dinner tomorrow to discuss all of this. So can you watch Jack tomorrow?” 

“Of course.” Jess said without hesitation.”

“Thanks.” Haley whispered into the phone before hanging up and making her way to her room curling up in her bed and allowing herself to cry for the baby she’d given away.


	5. Chapter 5

I don’t own Criminal minds.

Haley woke to a headache. Tears dried on her face. She didn’t want to get out of bed, she didn’t want to face the day. To face the things Aaron would tell her. she was frozen. Cold. She got around, not doing much not allowing herself to think. She let Jessica in at some point she wasn’t sure when. She refused to talk to her sister no matter how much Jessica poked and prodded. Then Aaron was there with Jack and she hugged her son who quickly went to his aunt. She didn’t look at Aaron as they left the house. She couldn’t. wouldn’t. 

The car ride was silent. Neither breaking the heavy tense silence. They came to the restaurant and were seated. Not looking at each other not a world breathed between them. 

“Haley.” One word broke the silence. She looked up at him. she swallowed and then she let the tears slide down her face. She knew his history a bit of it anyway she knew of his mother. That his father hadn’t been around. 

“I never knew.” She whispered. 

“Never knew what?” 

“Who they were who adopted him. “Mom just said they were friends of hers. Good people I trusted her. I was so naive. I should have known that she would just give him away to anyone how could I trust her.” 

“Shh Haley.” Aaron soothed reaching over and wiping the tears from his ex wives cheeks. I don’t blame you. We were kids. Scared and basically alone. No help, no support. We did what we thought was best. Your mother didn’t lie about one thing. At lest Diana Reid is a good woman. She has her issues but there is one thing I can say with certainty she loves 

Spencer with every fiber of her body.” 

Haley looked into Aaron’s eyes. “I can’t believe our baby has been here the whole time and we didn’t know. How can I have looked at him so many times and not have known he was my child. What kind of mother does that make me I should have known.” 

“Haley there is no way you could have been expected to know. You wouldn’t expect the baby we’d given up so many years ago to show up at the BAU. I work with him every day and I didn’t know.” 

“Is he going to want anything to do with us?” 

“I don’t know Hales we’ll have to let him decide that. I can see him struggling well we’re at work. I noticed he seems to have some issue’s when it comes to Jack.” 

“No.’ Haley gasped. “Do you think he dislikes Jack?” 

“No I think he loves Jack. Spencer doesn’t take to children well but he loves Jack always has. I think he just sees Jack and through Jack the life he could have had.” Aaron sent up a silent plea for forgiveness for profiling his youngest agent. His son. 

“If he asks you tell him I’m here waiting with open arms any time he wants I’ll be here.” She whispered around the lump in her throat. They ate letting a calmer silence settle around them. Aaron dropped Haley off and kissed Jack goodbye before waving goodbye.   
Haley bade her sister goodbye and then she picked up her baby boy and she held him tightly crawling into bed with him she let the tears flow as she held one child and cried for another. Jack may have been young but he realized something was wrong with his mommy and he laid in her arms and patted her cheek. 

“It’s okay mommy I love you.” He tried to sooth the crying Woman.” Haley just held him closer and cried a little harder. 

Spencer sat at his desk in his apartment and he stared at a blank white piece of paper. He held a pen in his hands and he stared. He couldn’t put pen to paper. He had to write his mother a letter. What was he going to say though?” He stopped thinking he stopped caring he just wrote. 

Dear Mom. 

I found out today I’m adopted, I don’t hate you, I just don’t know how to feel I love you but I resent you. Taking a baby raising a baby with your illness. Not telling me the truth letting me worry that I could inherit it. Making me grow up way to soon. You had to know who my parents were. I write about Hotch all the time. Haley too sometimes how could you never tell me. I’m sure. I’m positive that even if those two as kids didn’t know your name. That as a friend of Haley’s mother you knew theirs. I can, I will forgive you but it will take time. 

Love Spencer. 

Spencer stared down at the letter, white paper now scattered with angry black words. He couldn’t believe he’d written that. He felt a stab to his heart. He felt horrible. He picked up the paper before slipping it into a desk drawer. Never to be seen by another set of eyes as he started on another letter. One filled with the mundane things of his day. None off the hurt or anger. No he locked that away. Once again caring for his mother like the parent instead of the child. Telling her wouldn’t accomplish anything only hurt her and that wasn’t right. He sealed his second letter in an envelope and he put a stamp on it and he went to bed knowing that tomorrow was work and work meant Hotch and Hotch meant things he didn’t want to think about. 

A/N thanks to everyone who reviewed. Next up we have a bit from the episode Masterpeice. As Rossi tries to talk to Reid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N thanks to everyone who reviewed. Next up we have a bit from the episode Masterpeice. As Rossi tries to talk to Reid.


	6. Chapter 6

I don’t own Criminal minds. 

“Hey Spence don’t bother putting your things down. You’re being sent to give a speech to some college students with Rossi.” JJ said walking down the stairs into the bull pen. 

“Why, why do they keep sending me?” They know I always mess this up.” Spencer groaned. Clutching his messenger bag to his side. 

“Yes well something about your age.” JJ laughed. Earning a scowl from Spencer. 

“Hey Reid lets get going.” Rossi said coming across the cat walk and down the stairs. 

“Well at least it’s not Hotch.” Spencer said under his breath. JJ patted his arm. 

“Hey kid have fun. Don’t tell any lame jokes.” Morgan called out. Spencer turned and scowled at his friend. 

He hated doing these speeches. He may even hate it more that he was going with Rossi. Aaron’s best friend who Spencer was sure would want to talk to him.   
Getting into the car Spencer buckled his seatbelt and held onto his messenger bag like a life line as Rossi started the drive to the college. Silence reigned in the car. 

“He’s a good guy but you know that already.” Rossi broke the silence. 

Reid closed his eyes and wished he could forget what Rossi had said. “Yes I know he’s a good guy, I know that. You don’t have to tell me. None of you have to tell me.” He snapped. Turning to the older man. Listen I’ll put your mind at ease I don’t hate Hotch, I don’t hate Haley. I just don’t know what to feel about them and I don’t need you telling me he’s a good guy until you’ve stood in my shoes and found out that your boss was your father or in your shoes I guess son.” Reid bit his lip stilling the words on his tongue he knew about James Rossi and he knew it wasn’t right to say what he’d thought of next. What if you found out he was still alive.” He couldn’t be that cruel to the man. 

“Whoa I’m sorry consider the topic dropped.” Rossi momentarily took his hands off the steering wheel holding them up in surrender. 

“I just want to get this done with. I always mess these things up. They don’t like me I don’t relate to them and I keep getting sent here. Why? I swear it’s some weird form of punishment.” Spencer grumbled. 

“Oh Reid.” Rossi shook his head. As the car traveled closer to their destination, Spencer lets his thoughts over take him. How would he handle it all? Handle Hotch, Jack, Haley. It was then that he came to a decision. The easiest thing for him right now in this moment was to stay on a professional level with Hotch. To not mire the water with the murkiness that was their personal connection. Haley on the other hand. He would reach out to her, and through her Jack. It wasn’t to hurt Hotch, it was to give him and by extension Hotch time to figure out how they’d still work together. It also didn’t help that he didn’t have good experiences with father figures. Mother’s he could handle that. Father’s he wasn’t so sure. 

What he thought would be a horrible day went from bad to worse after a serial killer literally walked up and confessed to his crimes sending the team on hunt to save women and children and figure out the missing victims. Almost getting killed themselves in the process.   
It was the end of the long harrowing day. People were saved, children reunited with parents. A killer behind bars a bit of closer for some family’s all and all a good day. Except now, Spencer had to ask the hard questions. Ask for Haley’s information. Would she even want to see him though? Was he over stepping bounds to even ask? He wasn’t sure if he should ask Hotch or Garcia. Garcia would be easy she’d just give him the information. Hotch, he felt he’d hurt the older man if he asked to talk to Haley without being ready to talk to him. Hotch would know if Haley wanted to talk to him or not though. He would be able to let Haley know he was going to make contact. Maybe Aaron hadn’t even told Haley yet. Yes as hard as it was Spencer figured asking Hotch would be the best answer. 

Walking up the stairs to Hotch’s office Spencer steeled himself and knocked on the door. Aaron looked up from the paperwork he was finishing at the sound against the wood. 

“Come in?” He was a bit surprised to see Spencer come through the door. “Reid how can I help you?” He wanted to reach out to this young man. He tried not to flinch as he said the man’s last name. 

Spencer wrung his hands as he looked at his boss. “Hotch,” He bit his lip. “I was wondering if you’d talked to Haley?” 

Aaron watched him seeing the conflicting emotions flying across his face. He was surprised at the question it wasn’t one he’d been expecting. It also stabbed a little that he called   
Haley by her first name but still called him Hotch. She’s not his boss though. Aaron silently berated himself. “Yes I talked to her.” He watched as Spencer fidgeted. 

“Do you think she’d be willing to meet with me?” 

Aaron was even more shocked at this question silently asking himself why Haley? “Yes she’d love to talk to you any time you want.” Aaron said. He grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down her number. He held it out to Spencer. “This is her number don’t hesitate to call her. she’d love to talk to you.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat that he’d also love to talk to him but didn’t give voice to that. 

Spencer took the paper. “Thank you.” He looked at the older man seeing the pain flash briefly in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I just, you, I can’t right now.” Hotch gave a stiff nod the two man looked at each other for a moment before Spencer turned and left the office. Aaron feel heavily in his chair burying his head in his hands. 

Spencer turned and watched him. feeling horrible as he clutched that piece of paper the man had given him. Life was spinning to fast for him at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up will Spencer use the number Hotch gave him?


	7. Chapter 7

I don’t own Criminal minds

Spencer sat on his couch clutching that piece of paper and holding onto his cell phone. Staring down at it. His fingers hovering over the numbers. Taking a deep breath he dialed them his heart stilled his heart. He doubted Aaron had called Haley yet and informed her that he’d given Spencer her number but he wasn’t sure.   
With shaking hands he held the phone to his ear and he listened to the ringing, it zapping through his body. 

“Hello.” Her voice in his ear. His words stuck in his throat. “Hello. Is anyone there?” He knew if he didn’t talk soon she’d hang up. He swallowed trying to get the words to come out. 

“Hello is this Haley Hotchner?” then he silently chided himself because of course it was, Aaron wouldn’t give him the wrong number, and Spencer had checked that number five times before hitting call. 

“Yes who is this?” and with those words he almost hung up the phone he almost threw up. His lips felt dry he tried to lick them to get the words out. He swallowed but couldn’t get around the lump in his throat. “Hello, Hello.” Her voice felt like a taunt. 

“I…” 

“Listen my ex works for the FBI if this is some creeper I’ll have him on you in a second. now if you don’t answer now I’m hanging up. Then I’m calling him.”   
Maybe that would be best Spencer thought. Aaron would see the number and understand, but no he couldn’t do that. He had to be strong he had to be brave he had to do this. 

“Ma’am this Spencer Reid.” He heard her gasp over the phone. He was talking now actually rambling so he couldn’t bring himself to stop because if he did then he wasn’t sure he’d ever get words to come out again. “I work with your husband at the BAU I’m not sure if you remember me we met a few times, Hotch, um Aaron. He gave me your number he said it was okay I hope it was.” 

Haley sat in her house tears poor down her face as she clutched the phone. She’d been worried when non one was saying anything on the other end of the phone then asked if she was Haley Hotchner and nothing else. Yes she’d pulled the my ex is in the FBI card and she felt a bit bad about that. It was Spencer he’d asked Aaron for her number. What did this all mean?

“Yes of course it’s okay that you called me Dr. Reid.” She said wanting to reach through the phone and hug him. call him by his first name. tell him she loved him. but she decided to go the formal route. Less emotion see how he wanted to lead this relationship. 

“Mrs. Hotchner.” 

“Haley please call me Haley.” 

“Haley I.. this is awkward but if you have some time, I was hoping maybe we could get together tomorrow for dinner. Baring me having to go on a case that is.” Spencer cringed knowing how Haley felt about cases knowing that was the reason that her and Hotch’s marriage had imploded. 

“Of course.” Haley tried to keep the excitement out of her voice. If you have to go on a case just call me and we’ll reschedule okay?” 

“That sounds good how about seven tomorrow I’ll get us reservations at a restaurant then I know.” 

“Okay that sounds fine. Thank you for calling Dr. Reid.” 

“Spencer you can call me Spencer.” 

“Spencer.” She relished the feel of his name on her lips. “Thank you for calling and I’ll see you tomorrow. 

“Tomorrow.” He agreed before hanging up the phone. 

He slumped back against the couch and then sat up he grabbed his keys and he headed out his door. He got into his car and he headed to the only place he knew to go. Hoping she wasn’t sleeping. 

Haley stared at the phone for a while. Tomorrow. She’d see him tomorrow. Talk to him tomorrow. With that flicker of hope she called Aaron. “Haley is everything okay?” Aaron had finally made it home. After sitting in his office for he honestly wasn’t sure how long. 

“Everything is fine Aaron but I need you to do something for me.” 

“What?” 

“I need you to watch Jack tomorrow at seven?” 

“Okay.” Aaron readily agreed promising himself that he wouldn’t mess this up. It wasn’t like Haley to give him extra time with his son without him begging. 

“And Aaron thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“For giving Spencer my number. He called me he wants to have dinner with me tomorrow. That’s why I need you to have Jack.” 

“You’re welcome.” Aaron felt like he’d been punched in the gut all over again. Spencer was having dinner with Haley yet he’d barely talk to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow Haley.” 

“Yes Tomorrow.” Haley agreed as the call was disconnected. 

Spencer pulled into a driveway and he walked up the walkway standing under the porch light he knocked on the door. He waited he should have called her berated himself. She was probably asleep or maybe she was out on a date. “Stupid.” He muttered. Just then the door was pulled open and she stood their her blond hair highlighted by the light like a halo. 

“Spencer.” She said in surprise as she grabbed his arm pulling him inside and shutting the door behind him. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine, Jayje.” He shook his head as he followed her into the Livingroom. “Okay maybe not fine but I talked to Haley we’re having dinner tomorrow case permitting of course.” It was then that JJ silently made a promise not to take any cases tomorrow if she had to she’d push them off on another team but tomorrow she’d give Spencer what he needed. Time to talk to Haley. 

“How are you feeling.” She brushed some of his hair aside. “Scared I don’t know JJ. Hotch is upset I know Hotch is upset. I got Haley’s number from him.” 

“And you’re not really talking to him on a personal level yet.” JJ finished for him. 

“Right, I just father’s and me we don’t really mix.” He shrugged helplessly as he sat down on her couch. She watched him sitting down beside him. “You have a go bag in your car?” 

“Always.” 

“Stay the night she whispered taking his hand and squeezing. He just gave a faint nod as he leaned his head back against her couch. She watched him. his eyes closed the lines of worry and frustration on is face. She ran her thumb over each knuckle in his hand and she let him draw strength from her. what she couldn’t do is admit to herself that she was in love with this man beside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N thanks to every one who responded to this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Next up will JJ be successful? Will Haley and Spencer have their Dinner what about Aaron how will he handle it and Jack oh my.


	8. Chapter 8

I don’t own Criminal Minds

Spencer woke up on JJ’s couch the next morning. He went to his car and grabbed his go bag being quite so as not to wake JJ. He came back up and hopped in the shower. Jittery and wondering how he’d get through the day. Would Hotch say anything to him, would he get along with Haley?” questions that tumbled in his mind. 

When he came out of the bathroom JJ was awake and she passed him a cup of coffee. “Sugar’s over there.” She nodded to a bowl. He gratefully took the coffee pouring just the right amount of sugar into it. “Thanks.” He took a sip and held the warm cup in his hands. 

“You’re welcome.” JJ grabbed her purse. “You ready to go?” 

“Yeah might as well.” Spencer drained the rest of the coffee and set the cup in the sink. They separated to their own cars and headed to Quantico. 

“It will be okay Spence.” JJ said squeezing his hand as they walked into the building. 

“Okay everyone Strauss is on the war path she is mad that our paperwork isn’t done fast enough.” Hotch sighed coming down to the bull pen. “So barring any truly pressing cases we’re stuck here until it’s finished.” 

Morgan rolled his eyes. “Yes because doing this paperwork is more important then saving people’s lives.” He grumbled looking down at the stack on his desk.” 

“It’s part of the work. Sorry.” Hotch said. “And if you think that’s a lot you should see my pile. And I have to get Jack tonight so I’m in a crunch.” His eyes briefly went to Spencer. Spencer’s eyes stayed on his own paperwork. His pen racing across the pages. 

Spencer finished his own work and sighed standing up he stretched and headed to the break room. He filled up his coffee cup and doctored it just the way he liked. He leaned against the counter sipping it. He sighed again and started to walk. He collected the paperwork from his desk and headed up the stairs. He knew his friends were watching him. he could feel their eyes on his back. His back stiffened under their scrutiny. 

He knocked on Hotch’s door. He pushed it open after the older man’s gruff come in wafted through it. “Hey Hotch I got this paperwork done.” Hotch looked up at the younger man who was clutching the white sheets of paper to him like they were his only savior. Hotch held out his hands and with a slight tremor Spencer handed them over. 

“Thanks.” Hotch said setting them aside. He knew Spencer’s work he knew everything would be perfect he felt no need to look it over. Spencer seemed to be rooted to the spot he was standing. “is there anything else?” Aaron looked up at him. 

“Well it’s only two and I’m done with the work so if there is any paper work I could do for you I’m willing to do it. It is my fault that you’re in such a time crunch after all.” 

Aaron had to will his mouth not to drop open. “Spencer.” He sighed “sit down.” 

Spencer looked at the seat for a full minute but reluctantly took it. “Yes?” 

“First of all I’m not going to have you do my work, okay and secondly you have nothing to feel bad about.” Aaron saw emotions crowd Spencer’s face. “Nothing I mean it. Haley is, well she’s Haley and if you need to talk to her and can’t talk to me that’s okay… Spencer that’s okay. Also I would never say no to having Jack with me.” Spencer looked away. “Spencer I’d never say no to having Jack with me but I’d also never say no to having you with me, I’m here for you Spencer. I wish.. I wish I could have been there for you when you needed me.” Hotch shook his head. 

Spencer shook his head trying to keep the tears at bay, he stood up his hands shaking, I.. I’m not ready to talk to you about this. I’m…I’m sorry I need to separate Hotch the boss with you as a person who shares half my DNA. Haley, Haley is easier because one I don’t really know her. there isn’t any type of relationship yet. Also, mother’s I do better with mothers.” 

Aaron tried to shield the pain. “I understand. Just remember I’m here for you when you’re ready.” Spencer gave a jerky nod as he left the office. Eyes followed him   
across the cat walk and down the stairs. 

“You okay pretty boy.” Derek tried. 

Spencer just looked at him causing Derek to put his head down and not comment anymore. Spencer found his legs carrying him to JJ’s office. 

“Hey Spence you okay?” she looked up from her pile of folders seeing him hovering in her doorway. 

“I.. Hotch.. and .. he..”

“Oh my god what did Hotch do to you.” JJ raced around the desk pulling Reid firmly into the room and closing the door behind him. 

“No, it’s fine he just talked to me. I felt so bad for him JJ. I want to talk to him. I do.. I just can’t. not yet and he was so understand but I could see the pain even as he tried to hide it.” 

“Oh Spence he loves you. He’s loved you you’re whole life even when he didn’t know who you were. He wants what’s best for you. You’ll make it through this.” JJ pulled him into a hug and he let himself fall into if even for a brief moment. 

Rossi had watched Reid come and go from Aaron’s office. As soon as the younger man was gone he stood up and walked into the other man’s office. “Hey you okay?” 

“Hmm I’m fine, I really don’t want to talk about it Dave, and I’ve got all this work and I have to pick up Jack in a few hours.” 

“Okay but Aaron I’m here when you want to talk.” And Aaron gave a mirthless laugh thinking how similar those words were to what he’d just told Spencer. 

“Thanks Dave.” The other man nodded and went to his own office once again. 

The day came to an end and Spencer went home to change and Aaron went to pick up Jack. And the world spun madly on as people tried to stick the puzzle pieces of their lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N okay well this chapter was going to have Spencer and Haley but nope Aaron wanted to talk so I let him and next chapter will have Spencer and Haley. Sometimes the characters just take over. Thanks for all the response.


	9. Chapter 9

I don’t own Criminal minds.   
Hotch made his was to Haley’s pulling into the drive he got out and went to the front door. Knocking he smiled when an excited little boy opened the door. 

“Daddy.” Jack squealed as Haley came up behind him putting her earing in. her heels clicking against the hard wood floor. 

“Hello Aaron.” She smiled. 

“Haley you look nice tonight.” 

“Thanks.” She smiled pulling Jack aside and stepping back so Aaron could walk through the door. 

“Mommy’s going to dinner and she said I got to be with you, isn’t that cool daddy.” Jack clapped his hands. 

“That is cool buddy.” Hotch squatted down level to his son. “What do you say we have Pizza and watch Kung Foo Panda.” 

“Yes.” Jack cheered jumping up and down. Haley laughed. 

“Just bring him back on your way to work tomorrow.” She pulled his bag from beside the door. “Here is everything he needs.” Aaron took the bag surprised. He didn’t say anything though just nodded. He picked up Jack balancing him on his hip. He leaned over and kissed Haley’s cheek. 

“Make sure he knows I care.” he whispered getting a watery smile from Haley. 

“Of course.” She whispered. 

She watched the man and the little boy leave and she put a smile on her face, gathering her purse and leaving the house. Locking up she walked to her car. Getting inside she shut the door turned on the car and then sat there white knuckled she took a deep breath. Closed her eyes and wiped away a stray tear. She opened her eyes and started to drive towards the restaurant that Spencer had texted her. she got there before him and the hostess showed her to the table. 

“Thank you.” She said sitting down and holding onto the menu like it could save her from who knew what. 

Spencer had made his way home. Took a quick shower and got dressed. He sighed as he drove towards the restaurant. Parking he sat in the car for awhile, staring blankly ahead he finally gathered all his courage and left the car. He walked into the restaurant and was lead to the table by the hostess. He tried to not stumble as he saw Haley. 

“Hello.” He swallowed walking up to her. she smiled up at him. 

“Hello Spencer. Thank you for having dinner with me.” 

“Shouldn’t I be saying that?” he sat down grabbing his own menu. 

Haley shook her head. “No, never” they quickly ordered when the waitress came though neither of them really paid much attention to what they ordered. The food came and they ate words barely passing between them. tension thick in the air as they watched each other both seemed sure that something would be said that would set the other off. Reid took a drink of his water and cleared his throat. He bit his lip and looked at her. 

“Why?” the one simple word brought tears to Haley’s eyes. 

She took a deep breath exhaling through her nose. She looked at him. Wanted to reach out and take his hand. She looked around the restaurant. “Why don’t we take this back to my house. Aaron has Jack for the night.” She couldn’t help but see the pain that flashed over Spencer’s face at that revelation. 

Spencer looked at her wide-eyed surprised. ‘Uh.. Yeah okay.” He singled the waitress and paid the bill he stood up followed by Haley. They walked out to the parking lot and Haley grabbed her bag going through it she pulled out a pen and pad of paper quickly scribbling something down.

“This is my address I’ll see you there.” She let her fingers linger a moment to long as she handed him the slip of paper. Spencer watched her get into her own car before he walked to his own. He held the paper looking at it as he drove to her house. He had sat in the parking lot a few moments after she left so by the time he’d gotten there she was already inside. He got out and knocked on the door which was quickly opened. “Come in.” she stepped aside and shut the door behind him. 

“I’ve set some drinks out in the living room. She said as he followed her. Taking the offered drink and playing with it in his hands as he sat there. Both looking at each other. She swallowed. “I was young, just seventeen. My parents didn’t approve and Aaron’s parents didn’t approve. They said they wouldn’t help us. Then my mom came to me and said she had someone to adopt you and they were good people who would give you everything I couldn’t.” She swallowed. “I didn’t ask many questions not even their names I trusted her she’s my mother after all. She wouldn’t give my baby to bad people would she? I didn’t ask their names I thought it would be to hard knowing your name. Always having that information wanting to look you up.” Tears leaked out of her eyes. “I’m sorry I wish I’d tried harder to keep you that I’d know what had happened. I’ll never forgive my mother. I’ll never forgive myself.” Tears were now liberally pouring down her face and Spencer couldn’t handle it. Without much thought he pulled distraught woman into his arms. 

“Shh.. It’s okay I don’t blame you.” He muttered into her blond hair. You were young you were scared you make a mistake you did the best you could with the information you had. I don’t hate you and you can forgive yourself. It’s okay. You can forgive yourself.” He soothed. She pulled back and looked up at him. this boy, this man who she’d given birth to and thought she’d never see again. 

“Thank you.” She whispered brushing her hand against his cheek. “Thank you.” 

He just nodded. “Can I ask you one more question?” 

“Anything.” 

“When you and Hotch were expecting me. Did you ever talk about names?” 

At this Haley grimaced and smiled at the same time. “You know you can call him Aaron right?” 

“I could but he’s my boss. I don’t hate him either. I don’t I just.. he’s my boss I need time to separate the boss from the man.” 

Haley just nodded trying to understand. “As for your question we were going name you Lily Adelaide if you were a girl. As for a boys name we had picked out Spencer Aaron.” And as Spencer’s mouth dropped open so many other things made sense to him. why Jack’s middle name was Benjamin and not Aaron. Why Hotch had flinched every time he’d said his name that first year he’d worked for the BAU why he still barely ever used his given name. “I told my mother I guess she told your mother and she gave you the first name.” Haley breathed. 

“Haley I want you to know my mother, she’s a good woman she never should have had a child that’s true enough but she loved me. I was loved.” 

“Thank you.” Haley said. “It’s late I’m sure you have a go bag in your car. You’re welcome to the couch tonight.” He wanted to say no but it was late and he could feel the weight of the day crashing down on him. 

“Okay.” He said. She got him pillows and blankets and told him good night. He was woken up by two things the next morning one being a knock on the door and the other the ringing of his phone. “Hello JJ. Okay I’ll be there in thirty.” Haley walked past him to the get the door. “We have a case and she just nodded. Opening the door to Aaron and Jack. 

“Hello baby did you have a good time with daddy.”

“I did,” Jack bounced into the house stopping when he saw Spencer. 

“Hello weed.” He smiled. 

“Hello Jack.” Spencer said to the little boy. Aaron looked at him wide-eyed as Spencer walked towards the older two. “Thank you Haley. Hotch I’ll see you at the office.” Hotch just nodded dumbly. 

He slipped out and Hotch handed Jack’s bag to Haley. “As much as I want to ask I have to get to work.” Haley smiled and took the bag. 

“It will be okay” she said and she really did believe that. It would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N thanks for all the response. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Not sure if parts of 52 pickup will be in the next chapter but that’s the case they’re going to.


	10. Chapter 10

I don’t own Criminal minds. 

Everyone noticed the slight tension in the cabin of the plane. As they winged towards their latest crime. Everyone was professional and if you weren’t a profiler you probably wouldn’t have noticed it but everyone on the plane was and so they did. 

Once the briefing was over Spencer went to the back of the plane and Derek followed him and Dave stayed at the front with Emily, JJ and Hotch. 

“Okay pretty boy what’s up?” You seem like you’re going to jump out of your skin.” Derek pointed out. 

“It’s nothing.” Spencer shook his head pulling a book out his bag. “I just had dinner with Haley last night and she asked me to stay the night it was late after we were done talking.” He shrugged. “Hotch dropped Jack off this morning I was still there.” 

“Still not talking to him.” Morgan surmised. 

“Just drop it please Morgan.” 

“Fine, for now.” Morgan took out his ipod and put his ear phones on settling down for the rest of the ride. 

“Everything okay between you and Reid?” Dave asked his best friend. 

“It’s fine.” Aaron didn’t look up from the case file. 

“Really because I can almost taste the tension.” 

“Dave now is not the time for our personal lives to come out.” Hotch pointed out. 

“Fine but we’re not done here.” Dave said sitting back taking out his note book and making some notes for his latest book. 

“You think anything will ever get back to normal?” Emily asked JJ as they looked at the men on the plane. 

“Eventually.” Jj sighed. “Not right away though.” She didn’t tell Emily that she doubted it would ever truly be the same again. the relationships would change they had to but also   
her own feelings for Spencer were changing by the day. By the second. she knew it. She was admitting it to herself but was she willing to change their relationship. That’s what she had to decide. 

After putting a few pieces of their case together, they knew they had to talk to one man but man JJ wished they had never had to. she shivered as she walked back into the precinct. 

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked coming up beside her. 

“Yes I’m fine just skeved about the man who runs those classes we had to talk to him and he said something disgusting to me. 

“What did he say?” Spencer demanded.

“Meet me on my turf and oh the things I could make you do.” JJ tried not to gag as she said it. A thundercloud seemed to go over his face. He pulled her close and held her for a brief moment. 

“I’m sorry you were so disrespected.” He brushed his hand against her cheek before letting her go. She wanted to stay in his arms. She wanted to melt into him but she swallowed that down and she moved out of his arms. 

“I’m fine don’t worry about it.” 

“Of course I’m going to worry about it.” Spencer told her. 

Aaron noticed the interaction between the two of them and he could see what was happening but he didn’t feel like now or maybe ever was the time to bring up the clear romantic relationship that was forming between the two. 

Spencer didn’t like It that JJ was going to be sent out to flirt with the man who had disrespected her. he really didn’t. “I hate this?” he muttered looking at her in her club wear. 

“I know I hate it to Spence believe but Em will be with me I’ll be fine. Plus you’ll be with Morgan in another club and man I’m pretty sure you have it worse then me.” He laughed. 

“Not funny.” He muttered. 

“Oh I think it’s plenty funny.” She chuckled. 

Spencer figured she was right when he was stuck with half the population of the club thinking he was the unsub himself. And Morgan telling him to work to his strengths. That’s how he met her. Austin. The bartender. He’d shown her magic. She’d asked if she could call him even if it wasn’t about the case. He wanted to tell her no but he could feel Derek’s eyes on him so he stuttered out yes. 

“Pretty boy almost picked up a Hot Bartender.” Derek cackled as they walked back into the precinct. 

“Really.” JJ raised her eyebrow. “Here I was with a sleazy man and you were picking up hot chicks maybe I did I have the worse of it.” Was it Spencer’s imagination or did hurt flash through JJ’s eyes. 

It was over the unsub was captured. Austin had been saved and they were home. That’s when Spencer’s phone rang. 

“Hello.” 

“Well Hello Dr. Reid it’s Austin.” 

“Oh Austin how are you?” he saw JJ stop out of the corner of his eye. 

“I’m good. Got my HMO to pay for my dental exaime told them I was kidnapped by a Serial killer.” 

“Well at least your hospital stay wasn’t bad.” He took a package from the delivery man. 

“Yeah they even said I could go back to work. 

“Oh back to bar-tending?” 

“No I quite that going on a new career path.” 

“What’s that?” 

“Magician did you open the package yet?” 

Spencer looked down at the package in surprise opening it. He pulled out his business card with a lipstick kiss on the back. 

“Is this your card.” 

“Yes, yes it is.” he said. “Listen Austin it was nice talking to you but I have to get back to work.” 

“Oh of course. Good talking to you Dr. Reid.” The call was ended and Derek smirked at him. 

“Getting flirty phone calls now what’s happened to you Reid.” He smirked just then he saw JJ walking up to his desk. she leaned over it and took the card from his hands. She twirled it between her fingers before flicking it into the trash. And walked away leaving a slack jawed Spencer behind her. Derek was laughing and Prentiss who had just came back from the rest room to catch JJ’s little act stood stock still. 

“I have to uh go..” Spencer said standing up grabbing his things and hurrying after JJ. No one noticed Hotch and Rossi standing on the catwalk. 

“Think she’ll be your daughter in law one day?” Dave asked. 

Aaron turned to him all the blood draining from his face at the question. “I…I…” 

“Oh Aaron.” Dave shook his head laughing at his friend. 

Spencer chased JJ down in the parking garage “JJ.” He called out causing her to turn. 

“Spencer what?” 

He didn’t say anything just got to her and cupped her face backing her up against the car. He kissed her. letting all the feelings he’d had for her or years out. 

JJ gasped into his mouth surprised. She hadn’t been thinking when she’d tossed that card into the trash. She certainly hadn’t thought that Spencer would make a move. She wasn’t going to complain though. She wrapped her arms around him and fell more deeply into his kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

I don’t own Criminal Minds.

“Spencer.” JJ pulled away gasping. Spencer let her go and backed away.

“God Jayje I am sorry.”

“No.” she grabbed his hand and pulled him close to her. “Don’t apologize I was just shocked.” She seen him try to pull away again and she held on tightly. “Good shocked.”  She cupped his face and kissed him. “I have been wanting to do that for days.”

“Oh yeah well I’ve been wanting to do it for years.” Spencer teased. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner sounds great.” Jj smiled at him. “How about my car.”

“Okay.” Spencer agreed. They got into JJ’s car and headed towards the nearest restaurant  neither of them really caring what it was. As soon as they were seated and had menu’s in their hands they looked at each other.

Neither knowing quite what to say. Neither wanting to break the spell they seemed to be under. Neither wanting to wonder if it was real or just because of everything that had been happening recently. The meals were placed down in front of them and still not a word had been spoken between them.

Finally Spencer broke the silence. “JJ I want you to know this has nothing to do with what has been happening recently.”

She sighed and looked at him. “I can’t say that my feelings are that clear cut.” She admitted. “If it wasn’t for everything that had happened I am not sure I would have realized that I like you in that way.” He seemed a bit crestfallen so she hastened to add. “I think always in the back of my heart and mind it’s been there but this was the push I needed.  She took his hand across the table. “Can we make this work with life and everything else?”

“We can make it work.” He squeezed her hand. We have to be quite about it because we can’t actually date but the team they can know. They are good at keeping secrets what’s one more?” Spencer joked.  Though he was very serious about the secrecy their relationship would have to live under.

“You’re right. Strauss would have a cow if she found out just like she would if she found out your true parentage.” JJ sighed. She looked down at her food eating it and thinking of what this might mean for their future.

When they were finished and the bill was paid JJ smiled. “Why don’t we go to my house I can drive us in the morning.”

“I don’t have a go bag with me.” Spencer pointed out.

“We can stop by your place and get some clothes.”

“Okay.” With that the couple got up and left heading towards Spencer’s where he quickly gathered up some clothes and then they were off to JJ’s.

As the younger couple embarked on a new phase of their life Aaron found himself at Haley’s once again. He knocked on the door and waited wondering what she would say. She opened the door surprise on her face.

“Aaron,” she stepped aside come inside. Jack is with Jess right now sorry.”

“Oh no I came to talk to you about Spencer.”

“Oh is everything already.” Haley settled herself on the couch.”

“Yes everything is fine. I mean he still isn’t really speaking to me but besides that yes.”

“He says he’s not good with father’s. I don’t know what that really means but he says he doesn’t hate or resent either of us and he forgave me so I  am thinking he forgives you too.” Haley said trying to put her ex husbands mind to rest.

“I just…” Aaron shook his head. “I love him and I wish he would talk to me.”

“He will eventually he needs to separate boss Hotch from dad Aaron.”

“Yeah I guess.” Aaron sighed. “Thanks for listening Hals and give Jack a kiss for me.” He got up and leaned down kissing her cheek.

“Any time Aaron we share two sons that will always bond us together.” She watched him go and let one tiny tear slip down her cheek


End file.
